Stormy Wednesday

It's a rainy, stormy day here today with thunderstorms and even some hale. This is a little unusual for this time of year but not totally unheard of. A few years back we even had some tornadoes right around Christmas. For some reason, it does seem to make the day go slow. Seems like I've been here for a week.

Things are settling back down after the holidays. The decorations are coming down and on my way to work and home I don't see nearly as many lights on as last week. I suppose we'll take ours down and store them this weekend. Not one of favorite things to do. That's one of the things about Christmas that I have a problems with. There's such a big build up and then in a day it's over with and gone for another year. Very depressing.

So, anyway, nothing much is going on at the moment. A lot of people here are off work, both at my workplace and the area in general, so things are kinda slow. They'll pick back up next week when the schools return and everyone heads back to work. So, I'm off to explore other ways to waste the rest of this day. Only a couple of hours to go so I should be able to kill them in some kind of creative way.

After Christmas

Back at work after four days off. They flew by, which I knew they would. Funny how time at work goes by at about half the rate time at home does.

Christmas went OK. Friday night we ate dinner with my sister-in-law. No special occasion, just company. Saturday night was back at the sister-in-law's for Christmas dinner. We have to split Christmas up because her parents are divorced. So, it's normally Christmas Eve with the Dad and Christmas with the Mom. This held true for this year. Christmas day her Dad and others came to our house for lunch. We only did sandwiches as no one really wanted another big meal. Everything went well.

We did go back to the sister-in-law's house Christmas night but that ended up being a not so pleasant mistake. First, I think her kids were just tired and irritable. Their Dad was definitely irritable. Also, they were trying to get everything ready to leave the next morning for Tampa to visit his relatives so they were busy. I ended up sitting most of the night by myself watching some kid's DVD on television.

Anyway, Christmas is over for another year. I have feelings at both ends of the spectrum about it. One part of me is glad it's finally over things will get back to normal. The other part of me is sad that it's over and things will get back to normal.

One thing that won't be normal again is that my sister-in-law and her husband are planning on moving to Orlando. This will mean big changes for everyone. They've been here quite a while and everyone sees everyone else all the time. This won't be the case after the summer. How it affects Christmas remains to be seen.

Christmas Light Trip

We went to see some Christmas lights last night with my sister-in-law and her two kids. The lights were great and everyone had a good time. It would have been much better if the sister-in-law would at least try to control her kids. The first little incident was when she stopped to get a camera at a CVS. She took the little girl with her but left the younger boy. For 10 - 15 minutes the kid did nothing but cry and scream and I do mean scream. My wife tried to calm him and the friend that came with my sister-in-law tried to get him calmed down, but to no avail. We were all so happy when the mother returned and he shut up.

Incident number two. We ate at Outback, which from my point of view isn't a kid type restaurant, and hte little boy sat next to me. He was constantly standing up in his seat with his little camera aimed at at the people behind us. She would make him stop only to have him do it again. This is not to mention his constand laying in the seat with his feet on me, pushing or sitting so close to me that I had no room. Once he got behind me and was pushing from the back. Then there was the daughter. My wife got A1 for her steak. The little girl decided it stunk so she wanted to exchange places with someone. So, everyone shifted so she wasn't next to the A1. Next, she wanted the cheese off everyone's salad. I don't particularly like cheese so I gave her mine. I sat and picked all the cheese off the salad only to have her spit and sputter that it tasted bad although it had absolutely nothing on it.

We finally left the restaurant and went to see the lights. On the way the little boy fell asleep. Not a good sign. When we get to the lights, for some reason I couldn't understand, they insisted on waking him up. Another stopping the car, ten minutes of crying and screaming.

After that both the kids calmed down. Once we actually began going through the lights they became captivated by that and it was OK. We do this again and again. Every time we go out with her sister her kids act this way. She sits and watches and rarely says a word. Again I told my wife this was my last time of doing anything with her sister and her kids. But, it's all just blowing air. I'll find myself back for more of the same again. I just can't figure out why.

Cold and Windy

It's a cold, windy day here. It's overcast with a tiny chance of a flake or two of snow before the day's end. It normally snows here maybe once a winter and then only a couple of inches which is usually melted and gone by the end of the next day.

I went for my yearly physical this morning and nothing was terribly amiss. I have to go back in a couple of weeks to get the results from some blood work. They have to send the samples off to the lab somewhere or another. I don't look for there to be any problems though.

The biggest problem is that I need to get off my duff and get back to exercising the way I was doing a couple of years ago. I worked out, either with weights or on a ski machine, six days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes. The only thing I can figure is that I got burned out and gradually have gotten to the point that I may work out once or twice a week. I kept finding reasons not to exercise. It didn't even have to be a good reason, just a reason. Now, I tell myself all the time I need to get back to it but I procrastinate. It's tomorrow, next week, or after the holidays. Any excuse to sit there and do nothing. Anyway, I really do need to get myself motivated and get back to working out. I felt so much better when I did.

Bah! Humbug!

I haven't posted anything for several days as I'm getting more and more frustrated with this Christmas stuff. I have had some difficulty in getting into it anyway as I won't have but the least amount of time off to even celebrate Christmas and in the last week or so it has gotten doubly difficult as my wife is determined it's going to be the way she wants it come hell or high water. She has even gone to the point of moving little decorations I have laid around the house to a point she wants them. The house is decorated as she wants it, we are spending the little bit of time off we have with her relatives (two out of four days), and now I learn yesterday that we are having Christmas dinner at our house even though I had specificially said I did not want to do that because of two things. And, rather than a traditional meal, her and Mom decided we'd just eat sandwiches so no one would have to bother with a real meal.

First, her sister and her husband (and their two out of control kids) always show up late. Then her kids ransack our house while their parents sit there and talk never saying a word to their little darlings. They bang on my wife's expensive Yamaha piano and play on her expensive organ. They bang toys on our nice wood and glass coffee and end tables. All this while their parents sit on their rumps and watch. Then, if we say anything to their darlings they get pissed. They run up and down the stairs and then to add insult to injury, end up not wanting to eat anything we have as they don't like it. The second reason is that the last time we did something like this it was a Thanksgiving. Everyone piled in our house made a big mess and left as soon as they could leaving us with the mess. This is with the exception of the brother-in-law and sister-in-law who hung around to make even more and bigger messes every time we cleaned up the kitchen and dining room. I swore then we would never do this at our house again.

The bottom line is I'm ready for Christmas to be over. I have had trouble getting into the Christmas spirit because of the domination of my wife and it's still two weeks before the fact. I can only imagine how it's going to be for the remainder of the season.

Today's Rambling

We, at work, have our annual Christmas/Holiday lunch. It's a nice gesture by the people in charge but these gestures are getting to be less and less. At one time we had the lunch, got a gift certificate for a local grocery store, and a special tree ornament. The lunch went from 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM and they had buses to pick everyone in the outlying parts and take them to the dinner and return them to their work place. All that has gone by the wayside with only the lunch remaining and even then they have cut the hours back by an hour. It ends at 1:00 PM now. They claim the budget can't withstand the other stuff even though you can find a hundred ways they waste a lot more money than it would take to do the gift certificiate and ornament.

Still, I suppose we shouldn't complain. We could get nothing. Still, it's just another example of how that every time the budget either has to be cut, lowered, or adjusted, it is done on the backs of the employees. Our insurance rates are raised and coverage lowered, our holiday lunches or spring cookouts are tightened or done away with completely, our raises are lower, if we get one at all. It's politics. The concern is with getting and staying elected. If the employees have to suffer and tighten their belts in order for them to not do the right thing then so be it. If we don't like it we can go elsewhere as there is always someone to take our place. They are so caring. I have visions of someone named Scrooge about this time.

Anyway, that's the way it is and there's nothing anyone can do. It's just life and the way things are and most likely, have always been and will always be. Fair? I don't care to hear this crap about life not being fair. I just think life should be enjoyed. It's difficult to do that when you are constantly having to deal with getting the shaft every time you turn around.

Weekend Recap

To recap the weekend, Friday night we went out to eat dinner with my Father-in-law, Sister-in-law, and her two kids. After dinner we drove to a local park to view their lights. It cost $10.00 to get in and the entire trip around the loop took maybe ten minutes if I'm generous about it. It definitely was not worth the money. After that we went back to the Sister-in-law's house for about 30 minutes and then to the grocery store and then home.

Saturday we went to Commerce to the outlet malls there to do a little Christmas shopping. It was cold, overcast, and occasionally raining. We did a good bit of walking which I am happy about as I feel like I'm burning those calories when I walk. For lunch we went to a Dennys as my wife had never eaten at one. It was an experience as the people in the next booth or table had a whole flock of kids and not only were the kids loud, but the parents were louder. It made for a rather unpleasant lunch. I know the whole place was happy when they left. I know I was.

After this, the weekend really just coasted by. The rest of Saturday and Sunday was routine. We have our holiday lunch for work this week, which is really pretty decent. It's a catered affair and the food's really quite good. Othen than that and me getting my hair cut this week, there's not much between now and Christmas. Christmas isn't going to be much of an affair as most of it's spent with my in-laws and with us not taking any time off to amount to anything, it really just doesn't seem to be something to get excited about.

That was the weekend. Except for the Christmas lights and shopping it was pretty much like my every weekend. Not that I feel life is boring or anything, but it is.

Thermostat Woes

There is a rather large, overweight woman who works in the same part of the building I do. This woman has some sort of problem in that she stays hot all the time. It can be 20 degrees outside and she complains because the heat's on. She will, whenever she choses, flip the thermostat from heat to cool and doesn't even have the intelligence to move the thermostat off the 68 degree setting for the heat. In a while it's like a refrigerator in this office. I have spoken with her on more than one occasion but her attitude is that she has the right to be comfortable and be damned if everyone else is frozen. We are without boss now and the last one was too much of a wimp to say anything to her. I don't know where she gets off thinking she's the lord of the heating and air conditioning in this office, but it is very, very annoying. Of course, she is a very annoying person anyway. I could deal with it if we could reach some sort of compromise but that word ain't in her dictionary. Another little thing that happens is that she will leave (I leave before she does) and leave the air conditioner on so that the next morning the heat hasn't been on at all and it is freezing in here. We play this thermostat game all the time, summer and winter. It is my sincere hope that when they do hire a new boss he can help sort out a workable solution. In the meantime, it's either sit and try to endure it or play up and down with the thermostat all day.

Christmas Past

Not too much of anything going on at the moment. The daily grind is about it. It's difficult to believe that another year is almost gone. Last year we went to Gatlinburg, TN to see the lights and Christmas parade. Doesn't seem like it's been a year. The lights and parade were great but it was so cold. The days weren't too bad but once the sun went down it was frigid. I felt sorry for a lot of the majorettes in the bands as they only had on a wind suit type outfit and I know they had to be freezing as I had on the full compliment of winter gear and I was freezing. The ones I felt really sorry for was this one band from Gainesville, GA. Their majorettes had on their normal one piece, sleeveless bathing suit type costumes. There is no doubt in my mind that by the time they got to the end of the parade they had to be frozen solid. I would have liked to have went back this year but the wife didn't want to so we are just staying at home. The word I got was "maybe next year".

End of the Day

Well, another day almost ended. At work, that is. I got a call from the wife. We had yet another leak under our kitchen sink. We thought it might be some of the new pipe the plumber installed recently so we gave him a call. He came out and checked it this morning and lo and behold if it wasn the faucet leaking. Of course it had to be replaced as it can't be repaired, naturally. So, another nice chunk of my hard earned pay to the plumber. At the same time he's replacing this faulty faucet, the guy's out to replace the ceiling and the holes in the wall that were removed or damaged to install the new pipe from before. Seems it never stops. I have gotten quite frustrated with this entire situation with this house. Not much I can do but grit my teeth and deal with it. But, if it doesn't ease up soon I may have to declare bankruptcy.

Back Again

Well, Thanksgiving's over and Christmas is on the horizon. Not that I'm really in the Christmas spirit as I'm not. I can't explain it but I haven't been able as of yet to latch onto the Christmas excitement. I do or am looking forward to the little four days off, but other than that it just do anything for me. We even went shopping Saturday and put our tree up Sunday but it just doesn't feel like Christmas. One thing is that the weather was warm and the malls really didn't seem to be as crowded as normal. Whatever the reason it just seemed like another day of shopping. Maybe I'll pick the spirit up before long, but at the moment I just feel blah about the whole thing.

Sunday After Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving went OK. Nothing out of the ordinary. Lunch at the Mother-in-law's and supper (dinner) at the Sister-in-law's. We have to do every holiday in much the same way as my wife's parents are divorced. So, we end up having lunch at one place and supper at the other. The Sister-in-law meal is normally the most enjoyable as at least you can drink alcohol there. At her Mom's it's serious business. We ended up staying at her house until 3:00pm on Thanksgiving day (everyone else baled) and I thought we were never going to leave. I don't know why my wife so all of a sudden decided to just hang around and chit chat. Anyway, things went OK.

My Pal, Sam

My pal, Sam. We're best buds. We have a mutual respect. He does what he wants and I repsect that. We don't hassle each other and are perfect for each other. Of course, he thinks he's the boss and I let him.

Watson's Mill State Park

This photo was taken at a local park which, as you can see, has a covered bridge. It was pure luck that the old car happened to be coming out at the time I took the photo. I took this with a Pentax PZ-1 35mm camera with a zoom lens, then scanned it onto my computer. The origianal photo is not quite as light and a lot clearer. But, hope you enjoy it anyway.

More On The Work Scene

As I have laid out in the past, my life would be so much easier if I worked with mature, responsible people rather than the selfish, self centered, brats I work with. Rather than just do their job for eight hours a day and go home and everyone's happy, they'd much rather do any and everything to be hard to get along with and difficult. It truly is as if I am dealing with two or three year old kids in grown up bodies. They won't out and out refuse to do something but just do it at their pace which drives me insane. Their pace is incredibly slow. I have put up with this now for at least six months and my patience has all but disappeared. My plan is to call the supervisor into my office next week and present him with a written memo on where he needs to get it together in regards to this job. It is definitely going to affect his performance evaluation which is tied in to raises and could affect more. I have always shied away from writing people up at this job because previously I went through a period with a couple of other troublemakers who gave me no choice. I had to write them up just to try to exhibit some authority. All that was accomplished was that they resented it and me and afterwards, really did take every chance to do whatever they could get away with without getting fired. Anything to cause problems, but still within the rules. This is what I fear will happen with the present situation but once again, I don't feel I have any other choice. It is rapidly getting out of hand and if it keeps going the way it's going my evaluation is going to take a hit.

Why people have to be this way has always been a mystery to me. To them it is much more important to show how stubborn and difficult they can be than it is to actually get rewarded for doing a good job. I, for the life of me, don't understand why people think they're being so cool to act this way. They come across as jerks. Plain and simple.

Weekend Past

It was just a normal weekend with no real jump for joy moments. We went to my sister-in-law's house Saturday night and ate dinner with their in-laws from Tampa. They're nice, retired people originally from Pennsylvania and we always try to get up to see them when they're here. I, as I am prone to doing at their house, drank more than I meant to and felt quite like crap yesterday.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching and there again, I don't expect anything out of the ordinary, much to my dismay. As much as I'd like to do something different that won't be happening. I am having a lot of trouble getting in the holiday spirit anyway.

More On My Life

The past couple of days could have been better. Last night, while slicing an onion, I also sliced the end of my pinky finger. I thought it would never stop bleeding. In fact, for a while I was beginning to think I had, somewhere along the line, turned into a free bleeder. Finally it did stop. This morning, while flossing my teeth, I somehow managed to pull a filling right out of my tooth. The ironic part of this is that first, I was trying to take care of my teeth and secondly, I have an appointment for a cleaning today. Then, to top off the morning, I have an argument with the wife about holiday plans. It appears that it will be another holiday period with her relatives. This is in addition to the fact that I have, up until the past couple of years, always taken at least a week off for Christmas. Not so the past couple of years. I suppose it's no big deal but it just sorta puts the dampers on my Christmas. At work we get Friday and Monday off and that's it. So, just like last Christmas, it's going to be a quick come and gone one. I hate that. I like the Christmas season and like to go to the malls shopping and being among people in general. But, that ain't going to happen for the second year in a row and I am less than happy about it.

Anyway, that's the way it's gone for the past couple of days. I keep telling myself it's got to get better, but I have serious doubts at this point in time.

Lousy Weekend

This has not been a good weekend and actually not a good week. We were supposed to go out Saturday night. This had been planned for over a week. Out of the blue, everyone who was supposed to go decided Friday night they didn't want to go out. I had been looking forward to it all week. To say it was a disappointment is putting it mildly. After that, the weekend has simply evolved into nothing. Sitting around trying to read or watch TV about as bored as one human can be. I suffer from depression and have been trying very hard to not have to go back on medication as I don't like the side effects. I am now to the point that I feel I am fighting a losing battle. I feel I have lost all control of my life, both at home and at work, don't sleep worth a damn at night (I either toss and turn all night or wake up at 3:00 AM), and generally think life sucks. People who don't understand depression think you can just snap out of it. They don't get it. If I could just snap out of it don't they think I would? Anyway, I think I am not going to have much choice but to hit the medication route again.

Engineer Ramblings

I work for a local government. My two direct bosses are engineers. Funny thing about engineers is that I have yet to meet one who has any common sense. They can calculate, throw numbers around, and talk logic, but they don't really have anything resembling logic. In their minds creating more and more paperwork to justify a job or project far outweighs the actual result of the job or project. It reminds me of an old saying I heard while in the military: "if you can't blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit". It is no wonder to me that so many people have such a bad impression and attitude toward government. And, God forbid, I go in and question something they want done or offer what I think is a better way of doing it. I have to go in with mounds of knowledge and paperwork as I know I'm going to be put through the wringer explaining every tiny, tiny detail of how I think it should be done, why, and what the end result will be. The kicker to it is that they think they are so superior and the reality is that everyone makes fun of them and laughs at them behind their back. It's almost enough to make me feel sorry for them. Almost.

Tuesday

I was, for the most part, correct about the weekend. I sprayed waterproofing on my deck on Saturday and that was pretty much Saturday. Sunday we did attend a house warming for my wife's cousin which turned out to be more fun than I had thought it would be. Unfortunately, my wife and her family can't seem to get the planning stage of anything down pat. They like to leave things open and just let it happen. I, on the other hand, like to have an idea of what's going on and when. As late as Sunday afternoon, nary a soul seemed to have an idea of what this house warming was. Some thought it was just a drop by social for a couple of hours with no gifts, food, or refreshments. Others said it was a full fledged party with food, booze, and the works. This is actually what it turned out to be. I should let myself, but I get so aggravated and frustrated with my wife and her family every time something like this comes up. No one communicates or will call anyone to get details. Sometimes we're actually loading up to go before anyone can decide where it is we're going. Everything with them is fluid which drives me nuts. You'd think that in all the years I have had to deal with it I'd be accustomed to it by now. Not so. I keep telling myself that one of these days one or more of them are going to slip up and actually get on the phone and talk with the rest of them and we will all have a picture of what is happening. But, I think chances of this happening are slim and none. They are also a very stubborn, hard headed group who fight change like the plague. So, I may as well make up my mind to just not let it bother me and go with the flow. Yeah, I can do that...right.

More Aggravation

After taking a couple of days off last week to sit with the plumber so he could replace all my old copper lines at an astronomical costs, over the weekend we have found two leaks in the new stuff. Why it waited two days to start leaking is a mystery, but the aggravation factor is now at an all time high. This is two weeks of water leaks, plumbers, and water in the walls, ceilings, floors, and now the front yard. So, what this means is that the plumber has to come back over here and repair the new leaks which means more time off work as they won't go into the house without someone being here. This, I didn't need. And, this still doesn't take into account the time that has to be taken off to meet the guy who's giving an estimate of how much it will cost to replace the missing ceilings and holes in the walls. I said this before, but this is really beginnging to put me in the mind of the Tom Hank's movie "The Money Pit". Unfortunately, seeing that I'm living it rather than watching it on the screen means it ain't funny.

Upcoming Weekend

A, for the most part, fairly uneventful weekend coming up. At least I won't be at work. Most likely be around the house reading or watching TV and awaiting the dreaded Monday morning. Once upon a time I had this goal of reading at least one book each month. For a while I was able to do it, but as with most things I do, got bored and eventually quit reading much at all. I've promised myself that I would return to trying to read more as I buy books all the time. I have a bookcase full of books I've never even attempted to read. Probably enough to last me the rest of my life. Did the same thing with photography. Decided I wanted to pusue photography. Even took classes and got a diploma from a photography school. Bought all this nice, expensive equipment and for a while took photos of everything. Then, one day I just woke up, said why, and now rarely even take the camera out. When I do, I'm so out of practice the photos are terrible, I get frustrated and won't do it again for a long time. So, now I hesitate in attempting anything as I just don't want to fail again or put all this effort just to lose interest. I read an article the other day where someone was saying anything you want to do "just do it". May be easy for them but it ain't so easy for me.

For The Record

Haven't really felt much like posting lately. Have been in a funk of some sort due to this, that, and the other. It's only been a three day work week for me but it is still dragging. More later.

Morning After

Went with the wife to her sister's last night. Ended up drinking way too much booze. Today I feel like hell. Every time I do this I tell myself if I ever get through this I will never do it again. Sure. If I had a dollar for every time I've said that I'd be able to take early retirement. So, I don't think I'll be retiring any time soon. Right now I'd be happy just to feel somewhat human again. Maybe later on in the day.

Long Weekend

This will be a four day weekend for me but not the type I'd like. Monday and Tuesday I have to sit at home and babysit the plumbers replacing the copper water pipes in my house. Not only will it be boring but plenty costly. I'm trying to look at it on the up side in that at least I'll have all new water pipes with a guarantee, but it doesn't come at a good time. There are a lot of other places I'd like to put the money I'm spending on these pipes. Seems like the old cliche about there always being something to go wrong is really more true than not. Another good thing is that at least I am not at work. What a break!

Today

In a nutshell, the day has been mostly a waste. We have a position open which has been open since July 1. We have taken applications for the position since then. We have done interviews and finally decide on someone. We hold off until mid October just to make sure we don't get any more applicants. None. Then as soon as I start checking this guy's references they call me from our personnel department and say they have three more applications and a couple of them look real good. So now it's back to square one. I want to get the right person but I'd also like to get the position filled. Now, this will cause another week or two delay. This is par for the course. This is a local government office and dragging their feet is standard operating procedure. Nothing gets done quickly which I find extremely frustrating at times. Other than this, I have not been able to much of anything accomplished. I suppose there's always tomorrow.

Back At Work, Day 2

This is shaping up to be just another boring, uneventful day at the daily grind. I've really gotten burned out on this job, to be truthful. I have been here much too long and it gets increasingly difficult to find anything new. In the earlier days, it was as if there was always something new and everything was exciting, but as the years have passed it has become more routine. I would love to get out of here and would do so in a heartbeat, but practically I can't. Too many obligations and in this town, there isn't much choice of places to work. So, for now, all I can do is hang on, show up, and do what I'm asked to do with as much enthusiam as I can muster, which isn't very much, and keep telling myself that retirement will come one day, eventually.

Back At Work

The day I've looked forward to for a week. The dreaded back at work day. I know I had a week off but it sure doesn't seem like it. It always seems to me that time passes by so quickly when you're off work and doing something you like as opposed to being at work.

Nothing at all has changed during my absence. I come back to the same people with the same lousy attitudes. I keep hoping that something will happen to open some eyes and make all the hard to deal with people realize their attitudes and childishness isn't doing a thing to either change the things they don't like about working here or get them support from anyone else. But, with people like these it's a waste to even believe that some day they will see the light. They are totally lost.

Return From The Mountains

Made it back from the Smokies fine. Had a good time with the exception of my disappointment that the leaves were not changing as I thought they would be. I think we were about a week early. Came back on Thursday and on Friday had the plumber come over to give an estimate on the cost of replacing all the copper water lines in my house. They keep leaking and it costs me bucks every time I have to have them repaired. His estimate was over $3.000.00. It's something that even though I don't want to spend the money, has to be done. It's not just the money. The inconvienence is going to be great as he estimates it will take three days and part of that time the water will have to be off. Lovely.

Boss Musings

Today is the last day I will be working for or with my present boss. I wish I could say I've enjoyed it but that would not be a true statement. He came here from Detroit and rather than coming in with an open mind he came in wanting to do everything his way. One problem was that he was too inexperienced in this field to know how things are done or what is needed to accomplish some aspect of the job. He would get frustrated and irritated if I did not agree with his assessment and suggestions and it created ill will between him and myself. He also did not like being a manager of people and often shirked this part of his job by either ignoring what was going on or giving in to the other employees thereby undermining my authority with them. I mentioned this to him several times but in the end it didn't matter. He would still buckle to their pressure rather than putting his foot down which left me in a sensitive position. Actually, his last day is October 21 but I am off next week. I don't think I'll be making a trip up to say goodbye. My biggest hope is that the next person they get in here is more down to earth and knowledgable about this job. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening as the pay is too low to attract really qualified people. The tendency is to hire someone with general knowledge of the field and hope they will pick it up. This hasn't worked. His position ends up being open on average of every two years. So, if this continues, at least I'll only have to deal with the next person for about two years. This one hasn't made it the full two years. It's actually only been a little over a year. Plenty long enough for me.

Autumn

It is definitely feeling more like Autumn. It's overcast and actually cool, temperature wise. This, as I have said before, is my favorite time of year. There's just something about the cool, crisp air that feels clean. It also means I won't be mowing the lawn for five or six months and that makes me very happy. Saturday I'll be heading into the Smoky Mountains for a week in Gatlinburg, TN to hopefully see all the color with the leaves changing. I love it up there even if the leaves weren't changing but Autumn is especially nice. Normally, it's a yearly adventure to go to Gatlinburg for a week although last year I didn't make it for Autumn. I did make it to their Christmas light display and parade. It was a good parade. Probably the longest parade I have ever seen. It was made even longer because it was so cold but it was thoroughly enjoyable.

Owning A House

We found out last night that we need to have some old copper water pipe in our replaced as it has begun leaking and according to the plumber, once it starts leaking it will continue. I can't help but believe him as we originally had a small leak in one area which is why we call the plumber to be gin with. Last night upon arriving home it had sprung another leak filling my floor with water. We again called the plumber and he again advised getting rid of the suspect copper pipe. Of course the cost is unreal. An estimate of between $2,000 and $3,000 just to replace the pipe. This does not cover the cost of replacing the ceiling or walls that have to be torn into or out in order to replace the pipe. I know this is something that it will be beneficial in the long run to do but right now I am suffering sticker shock. I have questioned in the past whether there is all that much benefit to owning a house as opposed to say, a condo, and now I question it even more. At least with a condo I wouldn't have to worry about replacing water pipes and walls at an astronomical price. But, for now, I have to bite the bullet and deal with it.

Children

That's what I work with. Children. Not the not yet grown type but the grown type who physically are in an adult body but mentally haven't fully developed. The "if I don't get my way I'll pout" adults. The you made me mad so I'm giving you the cold shoulder type. The type of person you absolutely love to be around because they are so good at making life pleasant (yeah, right!!!). I don't understand why they never developed mentally. Why are they still stuck in infancy? Did they have such a spoiled childhood that they simply think they should be able to do, say, and have any and everything they want or else? It really, in the end, doesn't matter. With all my faults and problems I am just soooo happy that I am not one of them. It must be miserable to be that miserable.

Monday Again

I do so love Mondays. Not only do I have to hear that obnoxious alarm clock bright and early but after the rude awakening I have to get out of the bed, get dressed, and go to work, but I get to endure all the jerks on the road on the way. There's the jerk that won't drive over 45 and as it's a two lane road most of the way and almost impossible to pass I'm (along with a solid line of cars behind me) stuck. Then there's the other jerk that tries his best to see if he can get as close to my bumper as humanly possible without actually touching it. How he accomplishes this I don't know. What I do know is that either way my nerves are shot before I ever get to work. When I was being taught to drive the word courtesy came into play. As in being courteous to the other people on the road. Apparently, that is a word most of the drivers today never, ever heard. At one time I thought road rage wasn't really a real thing. Now I know it is.

Long Week

All told, this has been a long frustrating week. I wish sometimes that I could turn off my brain with a switch so I could be like so many of the people I have to deal with every day. Work is a prime example. My problem is that I have pride and having pride I care about the job and want to do it the way it should be done. I seem to be the only one. Everyone else just kinda shows up, some of them late with a very feeble excuse, and do what they have to do just to make it through the day. They could care less whether they do something the right way or not just so they act as if they are doing something. I don't know if there is an answer or solution to a problem like this, but I do know for me personally it is a very frustrating situation.

This Is Friday?

Normally, Friday is my favorite day of the week but so far this one doesn't qualify. It has been nothing short of a pain since it began. My coworkers acting like children trying to get around rules they know have been in place since they began here and to add insult to injury, a disagreement with the wife. I am sitting here now wondering why is it that it seems that no matter what I do or say, people simply want to be disagreeable and give me a hard time. In the case of the employees it is just them wanting to circumvent a rule that they have know since the beginning was in place and getting pissed when I tell them no. Just like kids. Asking for something they know they can't have but ask for it anyway. With the wife I think she is under too much pressure and tends to snap when I say something to either disagree with her or something she doesn't want to hear. At any rate, I certainly hope it gets better as the day goes on. This is no way to start the weekend.

Rain and More Rain

Tropical storm Tammy has arrived. It's dark, windy, and pouring rain. They may not get to play the second game of the series with Houston in Atlanta today and frankly, that could be good for the Braves. I watched the game yesterday and it's like always. They do great during the regular season then choke during the playoffs and world series, if they happen to make it. Funny thing is that this is the first game I have watched all year and they get blown out. Back in the early 90's I was an avid fan. Watched every game I could. But, after a few years of them trading away players and players leaving to the point of me not even knowing who was on the team, I lost interest. I know very few of the players on this team. Who knows? Maybe they'll pull themselves together and make it all the way. I do have my doubts, though.

Another Day

Another day, another dollar, as the saying goes. That's become the rule of life as far as my job is concerned. I have been here much too long and have gotten burned out on it. For many reasons, I cannot leave it. I come in every day and do exactly what I have to do just to make it through the day. I no longer really have the interest in it I once did. I just want to make it until 4:00 PM then I can go home. I try to distance myself from my coworkers as I frankly don't trust them. I don't feel at ease discussing anything with them at all. There is too much back stabbing that goes on here. Anyway, it is just another day. Nothing special. The one thing I have to look forward to is 4:00 PM.

Hate Mongers

I really about tired of picking up the paper or watching the news on TV and seeing someone on the "right" spouting forth all this hatred. It, to me, doesn't seem there is any interest on their part to live and work together, they just want everything their way. They don't want democracy, they want a one party rule dictatorship. Watching them I see some of the most evil people I have ever seen. It's as if you are looking at the devil himself. It's scary. These are the people who claim they have moral and family value superiority over all of the planet. All I see is a lot of bigoted, hate filled, hate spewing, self centered, creatures. I don't think you could really consider them people. It's good too that we have elected a president who is a uniter. I'd hate to think of what it would be like if he wasn't a uniter.

Day After Day

It's difficult to come up with something original to write each day. It try to do that as I read somewhere once that it is healthy for your mind to write something every day if for no other reason to let other people get to know you. I can only think that it's the beginning of another long week. I keep telling myself it will get better but it never happens. I try to find little things to be all happy and excited about but in the end the big things overshadow all my little things until I can no longer find any little things, just the one or two big things that are like a dark cloud. In a couple of weeks I take a trip into the Smokey Mountains for a few days. It will be so great to just be out of this city and away from my job for a while. But, the reality is that I know that in the end I have to come back and therein lies the rub.

Day After

Attended a wedding and reception yesterday afternoon and last night. My downfall was that they had an open bar. I took full advantage of it and now am dealing with the aftermath. I have to say that the food wasn't all that great but overall it was an excellent party. Today I have to attend a birthday lunch for my brother-in-law and stepson. I really am not into it but I don't have any choice but to go. At the very least it'll get me out of the house for a while.

Friday Rambling

I stopped on my way to work and topped my gas tank off on my car. I did this for two reasons. First, over the past couple of days gas prices have jumped anywhere from $.20 to $.30 per gallon. Secondly, after today the gas tax which had been temporarily suspended will be added back on. This should make the price of gas go up an additional $.15. So, the price for a gallon of gas here will be in the neighborhood of $$3.25 per gallon. One of the things I can't figure out is why the price always jumps about $.20 per gallon. Never $.03 or $.08 or something. It's always a variable of ten. 10, 20, 30... If we're not being gouged, then what is it? Why is it that one day there's going to be plenty of gas, then there's going to be a shortage. One day gas prices are high because of high demand, the next day they're high because of low demand. One day the refineries didn't sustain much damage, next day none of them are able to run. On and on. There is not a doubt in my mind we are being bilked to the max. Again, where's the government. Aren't they supposed to protect the populace? Only when it helps them in the polls, I'm afraid.

This Is Thursday

Today is Thursday. The day before Friday. Friday is the day that seems to never get here unlike Monday which comes around much too often and much to quickly. Even when Friday finally does arrive it passes as if it's never going to end. This only applies if I am at work. If, on rare occasion, I have a Friday off, it flies by. This would be a good day to be off work. Partly cloudy, temperature in the mid 80's. Much too nice a day to have to spend it at work. I hope it stays this way over the weekend.

Rainy Wednesday

What a surprise! It's raining here for the first time this month. I watched the Weather Channel last night and not a word was said about rain. It has made the air cool, crisp, and clean. That's one of the reasons I love this time of year. It's such a change from the past two or three weeks in which it was hot and humid every day. Whether or not it will last remains to be seen. I, for one, certainly hope so.

Day After Monday

In about three weeks we will make our yearly trek to the mountains of Tennessee to see the fall foliage. In all the years we have gone there has only been one time that the leaves were really pretty and colorful. We have been either too early or too late, there was either too much rain or not enough, or it hasn't been cold enough. The trip is still enjoyable but it adds something when the leaves are really in their peak colors. One color we will see a lot of is orange. We will be fairly close to Knoxville which is home to the University of Tennessee. Therefore, there is orange everywhere. They really get into the Vols. As for the tree foliage, only time will tell as to whether we see a lot of color or whether it turns out to be another bust.

Sunday Musings

Is it just me of do politicians just make everyone sick. I am sick and tired of seeing them doing nothing but taking every advantage they can of a situation. Doesn't matter if it's a natural disaster or the fact that the oil companies are gouging the hell out of everyone, they are there with their faces on the TV looking or trying to look sympathetic. They're pathetic all right. We need to get rid of all of them and start over. They should, on their way out, repay all their salaries and all the money they have made while in office.

End of the Week News

Found out this morning my boss is leaving to take another job. This doesn't break my heart in the slightest. He should have never hired for that position to begin with. He doesn't really know anything about the job but wants to act as if he knows everything. When we try to steer him in the right direction, he will not change his mind, so we end up doing things totally wrong. He has made it clear he has no desire to deal with personnel matters so the trouble makers and misfits play this to their advantage as they know he is a weak leader. They know we can't count on him for support. At any rate, he leaving and I may regret it later but for now I am greatly relieved.

Wednesday - Day of the Blahs

I should have known that this wasn't going to be one of my better days when I woke up and thought it was Thursday. Upon realizing it was only Wednesday and I still have three days of work to endure my entire system seemed to shut down. This is shaping up to be a long week. I am really down on myself right now for a number of reasons, none of which I want to go into at the moment. I'm sincerely hoping that as the day goes by it will get better. That's what I'm hoping. I don't have a lot of confidence it will actually happen.

Tuesday Night

Well, it's Tuesday night. The week has been about the same as any other so far. The only thing that is different is that my wife's grandmother passed away last night or really this morning. She was 98. Because of people like her I hope I never live to be old. She had dementia, loss of all bladder control, didn't from one minute to the next know where she was at, and sometimes recognized her family, but just as often not. If that is what growing old gets you, forget it. I'd rather die young. At least you can die with some dignity. That's a helluva lot more to be said than dieing in an "old folks" home alone and not even knowing where the hell you are.

Just Another Weekend

Not an especially good weekend, so far. Went out to eat Friday night to a Zaxbys (a local chicken finger place). Noticed when we went in it seemed to be unusually hot. Their air conditioning system wasn't working and by the time we discovered this it was too late. We ate in discomfort. Other than that it has been a nothing weekend. I have been at home doing nothing. Another unfortunate thing that ongoing at the moment is that me and the little woman aren't exactly seeing eye to eye about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. There have been several arguments and discussions over the past couple of days. I suppose this occurs when people have been married a long time but it reminds me too much of my first marriage in which the way the wife manipulated me was through guilt and insecurity. The more guilty and insecure I felt the more she got her way. It's a sad way to handle a relationship and in this case I eventually became weary of it over time. I am starting to feel that way about this one also.

Game Day

There is another football game here this weekend. The third in a row. I realize that it brings money into the city but for those of us who live here it is nothing short of a pain. Traffic and more traffic, the inability to go anywhere that is needed because of the traffic, the inability to go out and eat and be seated in anything like a reasonable time, and the partying and it's aftermath. Most of the people here have learned what times to try to do what (the best time is when the game is actually going on). The absolute worse period is after the game is over. Everyone is trying to leave at the same time and it's a hand full for the police and traffic people. I always realize when all this is going on, how people who live in tourists places feel. Even though it brings in the cash I know everyone breathes a sigh of relief when everyone's gone and it's their town again.

Partaking of the Grape Wednesdays

Not too bad for Wednesday. Tonight is my partying night for the week. This entails me sitting at the computer with a glass of wine. This all began way back when the wife joined her church's chorus and they rehearse on Wednesday nights. As I had no desire to either join the chorus or go listen to them practice I took up "wine at the computer night" on Wednesday nights. At first it was great. I had ICQ and would chat and drink 'til my heart's content. After a period of time the newness of it wore off and ICQ became a bore. Now, it's just a routine thing I do on Wednesday nights because I don't want to watch TV and have nothing else to do. Usually by the time the wife arrives I am well on the way to a wine hangover. Thing is, I have to act like I feel just super on Thursday mornings and she is not a drinker and fails to understand why people want to. She, therefore, likes to make me feel guilty about it. I also cannot depend on her for any kind of sympathy for anything related to the downing of alcoholic beverages. Having said all this, I am on my way home to partake of the grape. Cheers!

Tuesday, So Far

Tuesday. A long way from Friday. I know it's just a frame of mind but I have always wondered why when at work the time passes so slowly but when at home or anywhere not at work, the time shoots by. There are weekends that seemed to have never been. There are trips and vacations that it seems went by so quickly it's as if I never did it. I didn't like school so had the same kind of feelings then too. I counted the hours, minutes, and seconds until that last bell rang. I thought if only I were grown things would be so different and wonderful. Yeah, right! Now that I'm grown I find myself wishing I were still in school. I'd probably still be counting the hours, minutes, and seconds until that damn bell rang!

The Weekend

My weekend began on an OK note. Friday night dined out with the wife. Saturday had lunch with my son and his girlfriend in town for the football game and a little shopping with the wife. But then Sunday. Nothing went right or was good about Sunday. The wife spent the day at church and then at her 20 year old son's mobile home helping him and her Dad get the place ready for him to move in. Why, as old as he is, he couldn't get his own place ready I don't understand. To make matters worse the Dad wanted us to buy him some chairs and a table. When the wife explained that we didn't have money to burn he made some statement about he didn't understand why we didn't have tons of money as we both have good jobs, make good salaries, and just should be rolling in dough being that both of us work. This coming from a man who rents mobile homes and a few houses, is retired, and does have money to burn. This pissed the wife off and she then explained that with car payments, house payment, car repairs, having to help pay for a funeral for my sister who had no insurance, and other and assorted monetary committments, there wasn't a gold mine left. This is not to mention taxes and all the other stuff that is taken from us before we ever get our hands on our hard earned checks. Anyway, the remainder of the weekend was spent with everyone in a foul mood. So much for resting on the day off.

Not A Good Day

It was bad enough that I started the day with a slight hangover but to add to my misery I managed to lose my office keys. On the grand scale it's not a major tragedy but a big inconvenience. I'll have to borrow someone's keys and have them made again. How I lost them or for that matter where I lost them is a mystery. I just know I don't have them. Until I can get some more made I can't get into the office until someone else arrives. This is a personal bummer to me as I am usually the first one at work. I hate being dependent on someone else, but for now I have no choice.

Human Nature?

I am constantly amazed that no matter what the situation may be, people will find some way to take advantage of it and/or the people involved. It's bad enough that with all the misery and tragedy in the Gulf that people will loot and steal but then I hear last night that there is a heightened fear that people there could become victims of identity theft as there are credit cards and other personal cards floating in the water everywhere. I could never understand a person who would rip another person off anyway but under these circumstances it's even more appalling. We have not progressed very much since the very first person set foot on earth. It just seems to be human nature to try to get something for nothing whether or not you're entitled to it rightfully. I know it is disheartening to me personally. In fact, it's downright sickening.

The Weekend

The weekend hasn't been all that great. I worked in the yard yesterday and for the most part that's been my weekend. I am off work tomorrow but don't have a thing planned. It's my father-in-law's birthday today and I had thought we were going out with them tonight, but I must have misunderstood as I am apparently the only one who thought this. I did watch the movie "Guess Who" last night and it was OK, I suppose. It wasn't as funny as the previews on TV made it seem, but then that's not unusual. It's difficult to find a really good movie and reading reviews is a waste of time as normally I don't agree with the reviewer anyway. I have rented movied on the recommendation of a reviewer who gave it high marks only to find the movie is terrible. So, I'll get prepared to pass away the remainder of my weekend hoping that something interesting will come up.

Our Leadership

My very negative opinion of the media was somewhat soothed last night as I watched CNN's Morton Cooper interview Louisana's Senator Mary Landreau. Her self serving answers to every one of his questions is a sad statement of how our leaders think and shows how out of touch they are. They are clueless. For several minutes no matter what he said all she did was stroke the Senate leadership, Bush, and herself for the great job they were doing. Even when he point blank told her people there didn't want to hear anything about politicians patting themselves on the back while they are dealing with hell she still didn't get it. We need to get rid of these politicians. They are nothing more than corporate flunkies who are bought and paid for by the rich and the big businesses. We are where we are now because they don't represent our best interests, they represent theirs and their rich pals. It starts with Bush and goes right on down to the local levels of government. We need to think and educate ourselves before we go to the polls and just blindly pull the lever, push the button, or whatever. We are putting idiots in charge. All you have to do is look at the situation on the Gulf Coast to see that or look to Iraq.

His Highness

I am so happy that our fearless leader finally was able to find a way to distract from the stuff going on outside his pseudo ranch. I really feel that behind closed doors the guy has got to be dancing a jig. Now he can play President again and with any luck his standings in the polls will go back up. Funny that he can do that. He, and his handlers, are masters at taking advantage of a situation. If only the other side could wake up out of their fog and do that.

The Weather

Funny thing about the weather. One day last week they were saying there was a 70 percent chance of rain. Sun shone brightly all day. Not a cloud in the sky. A couple of days later the chance of rain was 20 percent. Rained like crazy. Yesterday and today a 100 percent chance of rain. Sunshine all day, although it did rain last night. This morning I hear that there's an 80 percent chance. Sun is shining. I know they can't be right on the money every time but what I don't understand is how can they be so far off? With all their technology you'd think they could at least get close some of the time, but no. Makes me wish now I had studied to be a weather person.

Where Did the Time Go?

I saw a lot of people at the funeral service that I haven't seen in many, many years. The last time I saw some of them they were just kids. Now they are grown and have kids of their own. I saw an old girl friend whom I hardly recognized. It all served to make me feel my age and wonder what everyone wonders...where did the time go? It's so easy go get caught up in life and lose touch with friends and relatives until something like this happens. Then it's the realization of how much time actually has past and how quickly it has past. At the end, everyone vows to keep in touch but this is just the emotional part coming out. I've heard that many times before and it ends up the same way. You one day sit and ask yourself where did the time go?

Another Day, Another One Gone

Thursday my brother-in-law had a massive heart attack and died. This is the third member of my family to die in the past two months. My nephew, my sister, and now my brother-in-law (my other sister's husband). It has been quite an ordeal for everyone. There's not even been enough time to deal with one death and then there's another one. As I stood yesterday looking at him in his coffin it seemed unreal that only a couple of weeks ago we had been standing side by side talking about her and her death. I sincerely hope this is the last one for quite a while.

I Am Tired

There are times, like today, that I feel just mentally and physically drained. Having to deal with the emotional stress of family deaths (my brother-in-law the latest - yesterday), the stress and trials of work, and dealing with the upkeep of a house and cars, there are times I just want to sit and stare out in space. It would be nice if it were possible to just turn the mind off, or at least put it in neutral for a while. Just to think about nothing. Unfortunately for me, my mind churns constantly. There are nights I don't even sleep well as I wake up numerous times during the night thinking about something. Tomorrow I'll most likely be fine, but today I am tired. So very tired.

Cutting the Grass Day

Today is my grass cutting day. I, at one time, did it on Saturdays but seeing that this pretty much killed my every Saturday decided it would be to my advantage to cut it during the week. At first I cut it on Tuesdays. The problem with this was that by the weekend it looked as if it needed cutting again. Then I switched to Thursdays which does leave it looking OK for the weekend. Thing is that by this time every year I am so tired of cutting grass, period. I start out in the Spring all gung ho and ready but by this time of year I've pretty much gotten burned out on it. For me, Fall will not arrive soon enough.

Here At Home

We not only have a major university here but also a Navy school. The Navy school is on the list of bases they are proposing to close. On the one hand the local and state politicians are up in arms and plan to do all they can to make sure this doesn't happen. On the other hand, especially locally, there are those who are already making plans on what to do with the campus and buildings once the school is closed, should it be. It, to me, is again a display of the hypocrisy of the local politicians as well as the local citizenry. Everyone was so upset when they first announced the possible closing but it almost immediately transcended into a "how can we make a buck out of this" mode. I look for the base to be morphed into apartments or condos. It's amazing to me how people can wear two faces at the same time.

Something New

Until I began this blog I really didn't realize how difficult it would be to find something to write in it. I thought surely I could come up with something to write in here everyday. For the first few days it was new and easy but as time has passed I find myself sitting around the house trying to think of something to write in here. The reason I try to put something in here daily is that I read once somewhere that everyone should keep some kind of diary to let people close to them know what kind of person they really were. So, here I am today just writing drivel just to get something down. Give me credit. At least I'm trying.

Monday Again

It's been a quiet Monday so far. Not that I expect it to stay that way. One of the things I have the most difficulty in dealing with, not only on Mondays but any day, is walking into the office and being hit with some calamity before I can even get the lights on. It's tends to really make the beast come out and I become terribly irritable. I keep telling myself that I should try to take it in stride and try to enjoy myself more as one day I'll retire. Once I'm sitting at home bored and trying to find something to do I look back on these days. But, for right now, I'm stuck in my daily grind.

Boring Weekend

Talk about a do nothing weekend. This has been one of the most uneventful boring weekends I have had in my life. I don't know how any less can happen. Other than mowing my lawn yesterday there has been nothing going on. When mowing your lawn is the great excitement of your weekend, there is a problem somewhere.

My Politics

Up until this past election I had always been a staunch Democrat. But, due to the Democrats ignorance and arrogance and their morphing into Republican Lite, I no longer feel that I can associate myself with any political party. I truly am an independent. This is not to say that I would vote for a Republican. Right now I wouldn't to save my life. But, I will have to see a big swing in attitude before I get all excited about a Democrat getting my vote. Overall, I feel the country and world would be much better off with a Democratic president and congress, but it didn't happen. If they don't get their act together, it won't be happening any time soon either.

The Boss

Trying to discuss anything with my boss is like living in a dreamworld. Not a nice dreamworld but one in which I feel like I am talking to someone who isn't really there. I have worked in this position for many years. He, on the other hand, came here about a year or so ago with absolutely no experience in this field but with the attitude that he knows everything. I ask for advice and get some unworkable solution, then try to explain why that won't work. This makes him angry as if I am just not wanting to take his advice. It only puts more pressure on me as then I have to try to not only figure out how to make his solution work, but then try to explain it to the people working under me. Usually they act as if I'm insane. I keep trying to convince myself that he won't be here that long as he is either going to do something to piss the wrong person off or he just won't be able to keep on dealing with the stress and pressure inherent with this job. He even told me once he was very unhappy with his job. Question is when will he leave? Whenever, it won't be soon enough for me.

Read the Newspaper

If I happen to be in a particularly good frame of mind and for some reason I find I don't want to be I read the newspaper. This depresses me faster than anything I can think of. It's not that I am looking for inspiration but rather just the facts. Not someone's opinion or slant. My local paper has a very conservative slant, which is odd considering this is the aforementioned college town and artsy town. This would be fine if they would save their slant for the editorial/opinion pages but they slant everything. I do get a range of emotions from the editorial pages. From downright comedy to downright stupidity, the pages are filled with letters from mostly very conservative people who either are deaf, dumb, and blind or brainwashed. It's one thing to support a cause but quite a different thing to blindly support a cause and not see the reality in anything presented that opposes that view. Like the one veteran who boasted about serving his country and how he would do it again to protect the idiots who live here. Being called an idiot really opened my mind to his point of view. I can only gather from their tone and attitude that what these people really want is not a democracy and a president, but a dictator. No questions asked, just do it. Otherwise, why would they have such a problem when someone questions or criticizes anything they believe in? Well, the way things are going now it won't be very much longer before this dictator thing will be a reality rather than an attitude.

Skyrocketing Gasoline Prices

So, what is the real deal with these gas prices? Here they have shot up by $.1o to $.12 cents a gallon just over the weekend. Then I hear on the radio on the way to work that they expect the prices to ease off after Labor Day because the demand won't be so great. Does that figure or what? Almost like it was planned that way. I have also heard that the petroleum companies profits are soaring. So, if their profits are soaring why aren't we catching a break of some sort. Because it's all part of the plan. We have a President and his cronies who are all in the business, the oil business. They are making profits too. I just find it incredible that the media and American people have become so uncaring. Why is there nary a soul (atleast that I am aware of) who is wanting to find out why gas prices have shot upward so quickly. Again, where is the outrage? I feel it every time I pull in the gas station and fill my car up. I suppose no one else does, huh?

Reading the Sunday News

It is very disheartening and downright scary to read the news these days. Not only does the media have it's giant head up it's giant ass, but a large percentage of the populace seem to also. All that is in the news is talk of wars and more wars. Where does it stop? Sadly, so many people are so ignorant or just don't care that there's nothing to stop our leaders from doing whatever they want. A huge touch of irony is that the very people who so carelessly want to bomb their way around the world are the very ones who fought so tirelessly to keep their own asses safe and sound during Vietnam. Where is the outrage? Have we become so complacent and brainwashed that we will accept anything, including lies and treachery, govern us? Right now I am afraid so.

It's Friday

Friday. Gateway to the weekend. The day I am more fond of than any other. I love Fridays because not only is it the end of my workweek, but I can plot and plan the weekend with great excitement. Not that much of it ever works out the way I'd like, but it gives me something to strive for anyway. Saturdays are OK but normally I have things I need to do on Saturdays. Sundays aren't my cup of tea simply because I have Monday on my mind. It's always back there somewhere that the next day is Monday and then it's a whole week until another Friday. For me every other Friday brings me money too. So, all in all, these are the reasons Fridays are my favorite day of the week.

College Town

Living in a rather small town with a rather large college can be interesting. You would think it would be a rather wide open town with all the students but this isn't really so. The local government wants to keep a tight reign on things and make ordinance after ordinance to either discourage the students or the downtown business owners who cater mostly to the students. The result is a very regulated, sadly lacking business area. There are enough bars so that everyone is aptly accomodated but other than a few local little shops, it is business dead. To make matters worse, they try to over regulate outside dining, inside smoking, and have as of late, installed observation cameras all over town so that the cops don't have to do anything much other than stand around and shoot the breeze. It has gotten so bad that at one time I considered moving into this county to be closer in, but have given up on the idea because of the local government. For the people!!!

Co-workers

What is there to say about my co-workers? I would like to say they are great people who are genuinely interested in the job. I would like to say they are self motivated, caring people. I would like to say they are generous, caring people. Yes, that would be nice. It would also be a lie. They are the most selfish, self serving, unfeeling, lazy, complaining, griping people I have ever had to deal with. All but one of them are in their mid 30's. Is this a trait of their generation? If so, I feel for the rest of society in having to deal with them. I wonder if they are this way at home with their wives and kids. I can only assume they are in which case I have to feel for them (wives/kids). Maybe one day their eyes, minds, and hearts will open. I doubt I'll be around to witness it.

Back at Work

I am back at work now after the four days off for the funeral. Every time I take off work for any length of time the night before I return is a tossing, turning, sleepless night. Last night was no exception. At one time I enjoyed my jo immensely. Those times are history. Due to personnel changes and general policy changes it has become little more than a joke. It reminds me of the old saying about the inmates running the asylum. The past two people in charge have been very weak leaders who, due to the low salary, were hired without any knowledge of the job or what it takes to perform the job. This has lead to the leaders pushing more and more off onto us underlings as they don't know what is supposed to be done. This, in turn, has pushed morale to new lows. There is no way for me to get out of this position at the moment. How to deal with it and still have any self respect is a mystery. It has developed, for me, into a nightmare. I have at least six more years before I can retire and get the hell out. I fear I'm in for some long years.

Rainy Sunday

I have been away for this past week due to a death in my family. A death such as this, which is the second close family member I have had to die in less than two months, makes me wonder. I wonder about my own life and death and what is the purpose of life anyway. I realize that when someone dies you can keep their body around forever, but it seems it's all a neat little package in that there is a three day period where arrangements are made the first day, the viewing is the second day, and the funeral the third. It's all over so quickly and you are so caught up in all of it that it really doesn't hit you until after it's all said and done. Sadly, this has been the scenario for each and every funeral I have ever attended.

Life

Trust me. Life is too short not to enjoy it. Stop worrying about all the small stuff and just have fun. You only live once. Don't waste it!

No Respect

I find it somewhat unsettling that on another blog site I have I had made a statement about being bored and not knowing what to do. Someone wrote a comment which was not only very offensive but also immature and insensitive. They made a statement saying in effect that I should go and watch my parents have sex for all they cared. Who cares if you're bored? First off, it is offensive because my parents have been dead for quite some time. It is insensitive for the same reason. This may be how this low life gets his jollies but my opinion is that it is my blog and I should be able to put whatever I want on it. If this person doesn't want to read it, then don't. But, I fail to understand what would possess anyone to make a comment like that. Amazing the respect we show our fellow man, huh?

Sunday Morning Ramblings

It's been a rainy, overcast weekend, for the most part. I suppose we need it but I am really about tired of the rain. Seems it has rained more this summer than in all of the last couple of years. One of my fears didn't happen. The step son is not coming to live with us. He has some friends he is going to move in with. I hate to be so uptight about him but I really feel if he had come to live with us again it would create more problems that we could handle. He really is in need of some counseling of some sort. Anyway, that's a relief to me. Life will continue to be it's normal self for a while longer.

Upcoming Weekend

Looking at a pretty noneventful weekend. Tonight it's a birthday party for the sister-in-law. This is not a normal fun type party but a very reserved dinner where everyone sits around and has controlled conversation about nothing anyone really wants to talk about. It just politely passes the time. The remainder of the weekend is just doing chores around the house. The wife will devote the majority of the day Sunday to the church, which has lately become her mode of Sunday operation. So, all in all nothing of any consequence to look forward to.

Step Son Blues

So now the wife is contemplating moving her soon to be 20 year old son back in our home. This is the same son who turned his back on her, moved out to live with his Dad, and up until he lost his driver's license to a DUI, had almost nothing to do with her. This is also the same son who caused our family all kinds of problems and in fact played a major part in my own kids moving out to live with their mother. He is currently living with his grandfather and his grandfather has had enough and has told him he has to go. He had to move out of his dad's house as he couldn't get along with his step-mother, even though she busted her butt doing things for him including getting him enrolled in a special school as he was about to flunk out of normal high school. In other words, he is trouble from the word go. So anyway, she wants to move him back in with us so there can be even more problems. Even now, because I am resisting it and am trying to tell her it's a disaster waiting to happen, we are arguing and he hasn't even set foot in the house. Of course, there's always the possibility he won't want to move back in. But if I could get free rent and board, my meals cooked for me, my clothes washed and hung up, and never have to do anything to help out and could come and go as I pleased, no strings attached, would I turn it down? I don't think so.

Religion

I read an interesting article last night about christianity. It was the author's opinion that we, as Americans, have subverted religion and being a christian into what we want it to be rather than what it should be. We are so self centered and selfish that we really don't live by what the Bible says or Jesus says, but what we interpret it to be as it suits our purposes. In my way of thinking he is absolutely right. Churches are filled with hypocrites who are there only for their own self serving reasons, whatever they may be. We don't turn the other cheek, we don't help our fellow man, we don't show compassion, we turn and walk away from anything we don't want to see or deal with and then call ourselves christians. This is the main reason I have lost any sort of faith I may have had at one time. You only have to look as far as our President and Congress and to the "right" to see what the article is about. These people are phonies, liars, and some of the biggest hypocrites on earth and yet will tell anyone listening in a heartbeat they are christians. I can only hope that one day they will pay.

Deadlines

Another day with unrealistic deadlines set by someone who doesn't have a clue as to what it takes or what is involved in order the complete the job. In my line of work they won't give me any more personnel but it's almost a daily occurrence that not only do the priorities change but the job itself changes. This means totally reversing course and at times, this is a very time consuming thing to do. I have always maintained that it is very east to sit in an office somewhere and come up with these priorities and deadlines without having the pressure of having to actually trying to meet these deadlines. Shows a certain amount of arrogance and disregard of what is real and what is fantasy. It's good to be king.

Do It Again

After a not so great week and a very short weekend it's Monday. Time to do it again. Another week of getting up early (before sunrise), long days, short nights, and even shorter weekends. I suppose this is the same situation for most people. I have to say I am envious of those amont us who are able to sleep late and have all the time they need to do what they need or want to do. Meanwhile, once again here I am as if I'd never left.

Another Sunday

To read the news is surely just asking to be depressed. First off, there seems to be no news but bad news. Secondly, the media spends to much time with their tails tucked between their legs that they can't seem to get the big picture. They seem to be much more involved with printing all these polls (which really mean nothing as they can be skewed in any direction necessary at the time to make their point) and cowering to the politicians, especially the Republicans, that they wouldn't know real news if it walked up and bit them. It is nothing less than sickening.

Ponderings

I sometimes questions whether anyone but me actually sees this blog. Not that I think it's fantastically interesting or exciting but I am curious seeing that I don't receive any input or comments. I did receive an email from someone once in which they stated how disappointed they were that they found my blog interesting and had sent me two previous emails which I had not answered or responded to. Truthfully, I never got the two earlier emails. Makes me wonder why I got the third. I finally decided that either this person mistakenly sent the first two emails to someone else, this person was just messing with me, or that it was just some kind of scam. At any rate, I doubt I'll ever know. By the way, this is a photo I took and edited a bit at a local park. I was actually taking the photo of the bridge and as luck would have it, the car just cam driving out.

Another Day Gone

The workday is fast approaching an end. It's been a hot one. Temperatures in the low to mid 90's with the heat index at 105 degrees. Makes you work up a sweat just walking to the dumpster. At least except for a slight shower in the afternoon the rain has abated. Too bad it wasn't this way when I went to the beach. If this holds, though, we'll all be wanting rain by the middle of August. Seems we're never satisfied.

Sunday Morning

The wife is at church and I am sitting here killing time on the computer as I am not religious nor do I want to be. I find so many contradictions in religion and so much narrow minded, at times pure hatred, that I find I cannot deal with it. We have had many discussions on the subject, none of which have I come away with a feeling that my questions have been answered. Even when I have discussed it with supposed people in the know, such as preachers, there reaches a point when they get frustrated as they cannot answer my questions any better than my wife. Maybe there will come a day when I will either understand or at least accept it, but for the time being I am happy being a heathen.

Friday Again

Missed the day at work yesterday due to a stomach virus. Would rather have been at work. Slept a lot, watched TV some, and finally about mid-afternoon felt better so I decided I felt well enough to cut my grass. This was not a good thing to do. It was very hot and humid outside and as long as I was on the riding mower I felt OK. When I had to break out the push mower I honestly didn't think I was going to survive. I did manage to complete the job but felt horrible afterwards and even up into late last night did not feel too good at all. Should be old enough to know better, right?

Wednesday

Wednesday morning. I had someone call me at work bright and early this morning who was all chipper and happy sounding. This is while I am sitting here wondering why I am and where I am. I often chose the mornings to ponder the real meaning of life. I think it's because I am asking myself this as I am laying in my bed sleeping soundly and hear this obnoxious sounding alarm clock a few feet away. Somehow, at this point, the real meaning of life escapes me. I am not seeing all the wonder and beauty. Next thing I know the dreaded clock is screeching again and another eight minutes of my life has passed by. So, what is the meaning of life?

Home Town

I had the opportunity, by way of the memorial service, to return to my home town over the weekend. There were a lot of things I recognized but as a whole the town has changed quite a bit. Stores and restaurants that were small and friendly have given way to the commercial giants such as Wal Mart, McDonalds, Burger King, etc. I had a lot of good times in these little restaurants and hate it that they are no longer there. Even though I was in town for most of the day I did not see anyone that I either knew or went to school with. Probably just as well as it only makes me realize my age when I do meet someone I know but haven't seen in years. I try to tell myself that they have gotten older, I'm still the same.

Mondays

I was born on Monday so it would only be natural to assume that I like Mondays. Nothing could be further from the truth. To me, Mondays are, without a doubt, the most depressing days in the week. Sunday nights are not high on my list either but only because I know Monday is very soon to follow. It's sad to have a job that once you walk out of the building rather than being able to enjoy the freedom, I end up counting the days, hours, and/or minutes until it's time to return. Too negative? Yes, but reality just the same.

Memorial Service

I attended a memorial service for my nephew yesterday and it was emotionally draining. Considering the fact that he was relatively young (53), the truth is that he was born into a situation in which he was at a disadvantage from the beginning. He, as his Dad, became an alcoholic, smoked, and died a horrible death from throat cancer (he choked to death on his own blood). Why people continue to smoke, even though they know the dangers, is a mystery to me. Maybe if they could see the photos taken of him after the cancer had really taken hold, it would make them think.

Sun Is Shining

Finally the sun is out and brightly shining. After 22 days of daily rain (so I'm told) it's a welcome site. But if the Weather Channel can be believed it's a short lived event. The next three days are supposedly going to be rainy and may even be affected by Hurricane Dennis. I am hoping this is not going to be the case as we received the effects of a couple of hurricanes last year and even though it was not nearly to the extent of the damage in Florida, still we received some damage. It all remains to be seen. Tune in at six.

Where's Friday?

Will Friday ever get here? I find myself under just as much stress and just as uptight as before going on my vacation. This is due moreso to the people I work with than the job itself. I am not a people person and these people do nothing to cause me to change my mind. I'd leave in a heartbeat if only I could, but with my committments being what they are, this isn't a likely scenario. Unfortunately for me, I'm afraid I'll be stressed out and uptight until I am able to retire or until something dramatic happens with the job. I think the retiring is more of a reality.

Again With The Rain

Again today it is overcast with the prediction of rain. It's strange that for several years we couldn't hope for rain and were in the midst of a water conserving drought, now it's as if it won't stop raining. There is a tropical storm winding it's way up throught Mississippi and Alabama and usually we do get the residuals from hurricanes and storms, but this isn't the case now. It's been cloudy and raining almost daily for the last couple of weeks. I'm ready for a bit of that dry weather myself.

Back

Back at work. All that looking forward to the vacation and it goes by like I was never off. I am very envious of those who can go where they want, when they want, and don't have to worry about going back to a job they don't like. It would be nice to be able to be able to enjoy life rather than having to cram a year's worth of fun and relaxation into one little week.

The Beach

Had a good time at the beach in spite of the daily rain, at times drenching. It made for a challenge in getting on the beach when the sun was shining. At times, we even sat in the rain. Went down to St. Augustine one day and visited the Lightner Museum, an old Spanish fort, the historic district, and the Fountain of Youth. Drank the water but so far it hasn't helped.

Friday At Last

Friday has finally arrived. I am more than ready to head to the beach for a week. It's been a long time coming. It takes about seven hours or so to drive from my place to Jacksonville Beach. The next closest beach would be Myrtle Beach, SC. It's a nice enough beach and I enjoy going there, but this time we decided to go a different route.

My Job

It is strange to me that the most difficult part of my job is not the job itself, but dealing with the employees who I supervise. They are all in their 30's with the exception of one who is 57. They are honestly the most immature, negative group of people I have ever had to deal with. They are never happy, spend the majority of their time complaining about something, and can't see the good in anything. I takes a great deal of my energy every day just listening to and having to deal with them. Unfortunately, I am pretty much stuck with it as there is not a rule against being negative, immature, or selfish. Too bad.

Cable TV Ire

My cable TV went out last night and as of this morning was still out. This would not be a major source of concern if not for the fact it happens rather frequently. When it does bite the dust, they don't exactly burn up the roads to get someone out to repair it. On the other hand, when it comes time to pay the bill there are reminders all over it saying it is "due upon receipt". That satellite dish is having more and more appeal all the time.

Tuesday AM

The week is dragging already. I am looking too forward to next week and the beach. I am stressed to the max and need some rest and peace and quiet. At one time I did photography as a hobby but found that it became more and more expensive as well as finding I didn't have the time to devote to it. I found that I would go to photograph something and overlook something or forget to do something so that when I had the film developed and saw the photo, it was a disappointment. Digital photography might help with some of this but again the initial investment to get a really good camera is more than I care to invest.

Monday Morning Work Day Blues

After a pretty nice weekend I am back at work. It's difficult to make the transition from having a, for the most part, peaceful weekend, only to come back to work and everything's hectic and tense. I am looking forward, with a great deal of impatience, to retirement. Unfortunately, I have quite a while before that becomes reality. Even though it's wishing my life away, I am ready to let my mind and body relax.

Rainy Sunday Morning

Went out with the wife's family last night for an early Father's Day dinner. It was a typical dinner with general chit chat. We went back to my sister-in-law's house and watched a movie, then home to bed. Tried to sleep in this morning but awoke with a headache. Had planned on getting some sun this afternoon but it's cloudy and raining.

Saturday Morning

Saturday morning. I am sitting here waiting for my neighbor to finish mowing his lawn so I can go out and lay in the sun. I want to get some sun as I'm headed for Jacksonville Beach next Saturday and I'd really like to go with some tan rather than looking like a ghost. I have on my little bikini bathing suit and I'd really rather the neighbor not be party to it.

Friday Morning

I am anticipating a very eventful weekend. What with changing the oil in my Nissan pickup and the Father's Day gala with all my wife's relatives descending upon my humble abode on Sunday night, how could I not be excited. The inlaws are nothing if not fun and entertaining. And if you believe that...

Thursday - The Day After

It's the day after because I sat at my computer at home last night and consumed an entire bottle of wine. Not that I really meant to, it just happened. This morning I am hungry and suffering from a slight hangover. Nobody's fault but mine.

Wednesday Muse

These are strange times in that the President and his staff can lie in order to take the country into a senseless war, a pop star can sleep with minors and nothing happen to him, people can go on radio or TV, say whatever they so desire without any proof to back up anything they say and yet the media and the people themselves show no outrage whatsoever. What has happened? Have we become so uncaring and so unfeeling that no matter what comes or goes, it's accepted without question? Seems so and this is a scary feeling.

Home At Last

The work day is over at last. Home to a nice drink and some relaxation. It is incredible to me that all life seems to be is a series of "duties" you must perform in order to get money to live on. As I once heard in a Kinks song "all life we work and work is a bore, if life's for living what's living for?". This has always stuck in my mind and I wonder the same thing. Why are we here? If all we do is work and, for the most part, do things we don't enjoy doing, why are we here to begin with?

Bad News

Received a call last night from my nephew's wife. He has been suffering from throat cancer for several months. They knew he wouldn't live very much longer but now his condition is deteriorating rapidly. Will probably only live a week or so longer. He is on morphine and his organs are not functioning properly. We grew up together but grew apart after I served in the Army. When I returned from Vietnam it was very apparent we no longer had much in common. Over the years we only saw each other at special family functions. Still, even though we didn't remain close, it's a shock. He's only 53 years old.

Beginning

I am at work now wishing I were anywhere but at work. I have worked here far too long and need to find other means of employment but with current committments this is just simply not a possiblity. In two weeks me and the wife are off to Jacksonville Beach, FL for a well deserved week of rest and recuperation. I can hardly wait. But, for the moment it's here I am and here I'll be. At least until 4:00pm.