Mother's Day Weekend

It's been a somewhat interesting weekend so far. Last night (Saturday) we went out to eat with the Father-in-law, the Stepson, and his pregnant girlfriend. The Father-in-law spent a good deal of the night making some reference that I was the father of the child. Why? I have no idea other than he thought it funny. Later, he made some remark about her wanting me as her dog on a leash. I didn't say anything but at first thought, that's absurd. He was being so vulgar that I told her that at least he wasn't saying anything about me humping her leg. Even as I was saying this I was getting this visual image of me humping her leg and in my perverted mind thinking "hey, what's the problem?". So can you blame me. She's 19, has big hooters, and a nice buns. I'm considered by many to be ancient. I know it's really sick, but, trust me, this is exactly how the male mind works. Even at funerals men are checking out the females. I know because I've broached the subject with the men I work with. We're all sick. What else can I say?